'Saya menangis sampai kering air mata'



KUALA LUMPUR: Saat perpisahan melanda, pelakon, Bella Dally, kelihatan tenang. Raut wajahnya tidak menunjukkan kekusutan hati biarpun ikatan perkahwinan bersama bekas suami, Nazim Othman, 33, terlerai tanpa diduga.
Bukan tiada perasaan, tetapi fasa kesedihan yang mendalam sudah lama berlalu dalam hidupnya, sebelum mereka sepakat dan berbincang hati ke hati untuk mengakhiri ikatan perkahwinan yang hanya mampu bertahan tidak sampai dua tahun.
Bagi wanita ini, tiada apa yang harus dikenang lagi, segala-galanya sudah terlerai pada 2 Mei lalu, saat bintang Lara Aishah itu menjatuhkan talak ke atas dirinya.
Tanpa berselindung Bella mengakui:
"Hanya secebis kesedihan terbit di hati ketika kami berpisah. Saya tenang bukan kerana merelakan perpisahan ini, tetapi saya sudah lama menanggung kesedihan tanpa ditunjukkan kepada sesiapa.
"Saya sendiri terkejut dengan kekuatan diri. Saya fikir jiwa akan menjadi kacau, emosi terganggu dan tidak tenteram selepas perpisahan terjadi, tetapi ia tidak berlaku.
"Saya bersyukur apabila Tuhan memberikan saya kekuatan dan ketenangan sejauh ini. Bohonglah jika saya tidak tertekan saat awal berdepan dengan kemelut rumah tangga, tetapi akhirnya saya reda. Inilah keputusan yang terbaik buat kami."
Bella atau nama sebenarnya, Nabilah Ali Dally, 26, berkata dia tahu ramai yang terkejut dengan keputusan mereka mengakhiri ikatan suci yang terjalin, sedangkan sebelum ini tidak timbul kisah rumah tangga mereka bergolak.
"Jujurnya, keputusan mahu berpisah sudah lama difikirkan, tetapi hanya terlaksana pada 2 Mei lalu. Saya tidak selesa berkongsi cerita secara mendalam, cukuplah sekadar orang ramai tahu, saya dan Nazim sudah pun bercerai.
"Apa yang berlaku pada rumah tangga kami biarlah disimpan sendiri. Saya rasa tidak manis untuk saya berkongsi cerita rumah tangga. Saya mahu simpan kisah kami sampai mati.
"Apa yang saya dapat jika saya mendedahkan apa yang berlaku? Saya tidak mahu membuka ruang netizen untuk memfitnah kami," katanya kepada BH Online.
Pelakon yang dicungkil bakatnya menerusi program realiti, Pilih Kasih musim pertama, pada 2009 itu memberitahu, dia perlu reda dan menerima ketentuan takdir.
Ujarnya, walaupun sukar untuk berbuat begitu dan dugaannya juga sangat besar, tetapi inilah keputusan yang tepat buat dirinya serta Nazim.
"Pada peringkat awal, ia memberi kesan pada emosi dan kerja, tetapi saya mampu menahan hati serta menyelindungi kekusutan jiwa. Lebih membuatkan saya selamat apabila membawa watak gadis bisu dalam drama, Makmum Yang Paling Aku Cinta. Drama itu memerlukan saya menangis setiap hari.
"Secara kebetulan, saya berdepan dengan kemelut rumah tangga ketika itu. Jadi, saya melepaskan kesedihan dan keluh kesah hati ketika penggambaran drama itu.
"Saya menangis hingga kering air mata. Bagaimanapun, tiada siapa perasan saya sebenarnya berdepan dengan masalah rumah tangga yang bagaikan telur di hujung tanduk," katanya yang sibuk dengan perniagaan biskut, Crumbs By Bella Dally, sejak sebulan lalu.
Wanita kacukan Melayu, Pakistan dan Filipina itu berkata, dia tidak berkongsi masalah rumah tangganya dengan orang luar. Sebaliknya, hanya keluarga dan beberapa rakan baik yang mengetahui masalah dihadapi wanita ini.
"Saya tidak percaya sesiapa dalam soal ini, jadi hanya keluarga dan beberapa teman baik yang tahu. Itupun tidak semua masalah saya kongsi bersama mereka.
"Bukan apa, saya tidak mahu masalah peribadi dan rumah tangga kami menjadi bualan ramai. Sebab itulah ramai yang terkejut apabila kami mengumumkan sudah bercerai. Kami juga berpisah secara baik, tidak bergaduh dan berdendam. Malah, kami sudah saling bermaafan.
"Untuk melupakannya, saya serah kepada kuasa Allah. Sejak bercerai, kami tidak pernah lagi bertemu, hanya sesekali berhubung jika perlu.
"Saya sudah 'move one' dan melupakan segala apa yang berlaku. Saya akui, lebih tenang hidup sendiri," katanya.
Bella berkata, dia tidak kesunyian biarpun kini tiada lagi peneman hidup.
"Saya kini tinggal dengan abang. Hidup saya sentiasa terisi dengan keluarga dan teman baik yang datang menjenguk. Saya menjalani hidup seperti biasa.
"Pada Ramadan ini, saya sibuk menjual biskut, selain terbabit dengan beberapa kempen selaku duta tudung, Ariani," katanya.
Tambah Bella, dia berharap kekuatan dirinya saat berdepan dengan kemusnahan rumah tangga menjadi inspirasi buat pasangan yang melalui situasi hampir sama.
"Perceraian tidak memerlukan kita bergaduh dan berkongsi cerita yang tidak manis. Kita harus bangkit dan meneruskan kehidupan.
"Perkara yang berlaku biarlah berlalu, mungkin ada hikmah di sebalik perpisahan yang terjadi. Pesan saya, jangan terlalu mengikut emosi sehingga terlalu tertekan dan merana.
"Saya pun merasainya saat rumah tangga saya tidak mampu diselamatkan, tetapi saya tidak terbuai dengan kesedihan yang melampau. Saya tidak suka orang melihat saya bersedih," katanya.

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